Feels Like Today

With my worker's comp claim ended last Friday, I had to sign up for unemployment for the time being. So I had to get up early and get to it today. Luckily for me, 2 night ago, I discovered that STEPHEN LYNCH was coming back to my area. Who's excited? You better believe I AM!! So it gave me a really good reason to get up this morning and get tickets. Due to my total and complete awesomeness, I scored 5th row seats. I do believe it had something to do with my magical superhero Fellatio Girl powers. So we have our second wedding anniversary next month. I am surprising C with a minitrip. it just so happens that 2 days after our anniversary, we leave for South Carolina for 9 days. We come home and 2 days later- Stephen Lynch. June is looking like I will barely have time to breathe nevermind procreate. I am very upset and distraught lately. I don't know how to explain it. Its like my oxygen is being cut off. Wait a nip- I know exactly why I feel like that...because the fucking Red Sox cannot win a game. Thats right. Now I remember. They can't win a game to save their lives lately. Its getting ridiculous. I was going to get tix for this Monday's game with Beckett pitching. Sure enough, he lost 2 days ago. Seriously!? Seriously. What the fuck. If you are not a Sox fan please let me explain something to you. I don't care who you are a fan of. (Unless its the Yankees- if so, please click the red X at the top of your screen now. Don't worry- I'll wait.) I am sure you feel as though your team has the best fans in baseball. Well, I hate to burst your bubble sweetcheeks. You don't. The only other team in my opinion that could give Sox fans a run for their money is Cubs fans. (If you are a Cubs fan, either disregard my next statements or see if we are close to the same page.) This is not to say people do not love their team. I'm sure they do. But not like we love the Red Sox. Its simply not feasible. My blood is red for a reason. Growing up in Massachusetts, you are born to breathe Red Sox. Thats simply the way it is. There is no other. I don't care if you hate baseball- you at least know SOME tidbits about the Sox. They are everywhere. Every car has a Sox sticker or decal. Some have flags hanging out the back window. People have Sox tattoos. (Present party included) We stop our weddings to watch Sox games. I know for a fact that the Sox won on the day of my wedding. THAT is how I knew we would have a good day. They mean so much to us. We put all our faith in them. We BELIEVE in them. Have they let us down before? You better fucking believe it. There is no greater sea salt in a flesh wound then when the Sox let us down. (We'll run what I have seen in my lifetime. Believe me this torture has gone on for decades.) *1986. I'm sorry I cannot further write about 86- I might cry. *1999. Le sigh. So close yet so far. *2003. In October 2003, I was at McFadden's Sports Bar in Phoenix. They had just opened a month before. I was upstairs at a table with a railing directly in front of me. They had floor to ceiling tv screens to watch the game. There was also a sea of people directly below me watching the game. When Aaron Fucking Boone hit the homerun off of Wakefield, in a knee jerk reaction, I threw the large glass I had with drink and ice still in it. Of course I threw it into the crowd. Obviously kinda by accident. I was promptly escorted off the property and proceeded to throw a massive hissyfit as soon as I heard the end of the game while driving home. *2004 was redemption. It was for our parents, our grandparents, great grandparents and long lost Sox fans. When they won, there were more Red Sox flags at gravestones then there were flowers. The soul of New England cried that late, cold October night. We cried with tears of joy. Tears for being so privileged that we got to witness greatness. Tears for finally catching a break. We also cried tears for those that had died waiting to see what we did. I cried because I was so happy I got to see it. If it never happened again, at least I could say I did see it once. I could tell my great grandchildren that I would remember where I was and who I was with. My maternal grandfather never got to witness what I witnessed. When the Sox won in 1918 he was still in Portugal. He was 94 when he passed. I was 7. The few things I do remember, were that he would let me go over to his apartment and watch Gumby. It was guaranteed I would fall asleep within 5 minutes, but he would leave the show on. My mother would come to get me and he would push her out of the house and tell her to hush, I was sleeping, he would say. He would sit there for hours and just watch me sleep. This I remember. But the one thing about my grandfather I will never forget- was his love of the Sox. Even when he was hospitalized, even when he couldn't understand everything because it was in english, the Sox were on for every single game. He would cheer and he would curse. That was on my mind the night they won. The fact that my JuJu never got to see it. 2004 was for him. I've given you more than I am sure you had ever wanted to read. Please forgive my babbling. I will go into how I believe my struggles and barren uterus issues will somehow correlate with being a Sox fan. Until next time- I send you taco flavored kissies.